After that debacle, we moved on to celebrating my OLDER sister's birthday (gotta throw that in there any chance I get). But the real celebration was the decision my sweet nephew, Kyle, made to be baptized. Nick and Kyle were the first two real loves of my life, and I just couldn't be happier - OR PROUDER - of them. This is such an important decision, and one he didn't take lightly. But if you know him, you know he has the biggest heart out of anyone in the world. The coolest part was that Rick, my brother-in-law, was able to perform the baptism. What a special day!
Towards the middle of the month, we were invited to Bloomington to go to Chuck-E-Cheese for Sean's bestie's (Jack) birthday. It was just our family and his, and the kids had a BLAST! Although I'm pretty sure I'm good with stuffed mice for another year or so. The old boys didn't sit still long enough to get a picture, but here is one of Nathan checking out the
I decided rather than trying to find a place for Sean to go during his Spring Break, it would be fun to take the week off, and have some Mommy/Sean time. After all, it's been a long time since I'VE had a spring break too! We went to the library, saw a movie, went to the park, (did a little shopping...shh!), and just had some great quality time together. We even gave Sean the mohawk he'd been wanting! What do you think?
Having fun at the library
Sharing the books we checked out with brother (this peaceful picture lasted about five minutes) ;)
The end of the month had us getting ready for Sean's *hopefully* last appointment with the endocrinologist. At least that is what we hoped. I honestly don't think I can even recap my true feelings/that time in this blog. But here goes... On the way to work one morning, I received a call from the doctor's office, stating that Sean's endocrinologist didn't like some of the test results from the lab work we had to send over (we have these labs done before each trip to see her), so she wanted him to have a Sweat Chloride test done. She was concerned he may have cystic fibrosis. Believe me when I tell you that no matter how strong your faith is, no matter how much praying you do, or how much people tell you, "Oh don't worry, I'm sure he's JUST fine."... when it is YOUR child, and you receive this kind of news OUT OF THE BLUE, your world comes crashing down.
It is hard to not assume the worst. It is hard to read statistics that say the average age for a person to live with CF is 37. 37. How is a mother supposed to imagine life without her child? I had so, SO many people tell me it was nothing. That Sean was fine. Did I want to believe them? OF COURSE. But did I? No. The fact is, THEY didn't know. The only one who knew that Sean was going to be okay, was God. I tried to stay strong and not have this be life consuming (we had to wait two weeks to have the test done), but let me tell you, when it is your child, there is nothing anyone can say or do that will help.
I didn't want people to be all doom and gloom, but I wanted them to be realistic that this, in fact, may be the cause for his issues. I wanted people to cry with me - just for a minute. To tell me they would pray for me, for my sweet Sean. That no matter what happens, they will be there to love and support him. Unfortunately, I got a lot of people "blowing it off" or dismissing the silly notion, and making me feel almost stupid for feeling SO sad and concerned. Then I felt guilt. I mean, there are SO many people out there going through so much worse than we were, so what right did I have to be sad?
That was hard. But it wasn't about me. It was about shielding and protecting my child. It was about praying - harder than I've ever prayed before.
And those prayers were answered. PRAISE GOD everything turned out to be okay! I would not wish those two weeks on my worst enemy, however I really do feel like there is a lesson to be learned in all of this. First and foremost, GOD IS GOOD. God's hand was with us during his test and during the results. Second, I learned to really, really be present in the moment with my precious boys. I learned to love them harder, hold them closer. And finally, I learned how to be a better friend. The way I felt by some is a way I NEVER want to make my friends feel. So now I know. I know how to support better, listen better, be a better friend. God truly does have a plan, and I'm SO thankful that no matter what, he was and is always by our side.
Whew. That was heavy. Let's lighten it up a little with a couple of random pictures of my crazy dudes!
I think the funniest moment of March, was when I walked into Sean's room, only to discover he and his brother... well... the picture really needs no explanation.
But wait, it gets better! When I lifted the vent out to dump it in the trash, I found this!
I'm not sure if they were hoarding for the winter or what, but parents... know this. If you are taking a shower and your kids are uncharacteristically quiet, THEY ARE UP TO SOMETHING!!! LOL!
2 comments:
Yay! You're back! :-)
I think you summed up your emotions surrounding Sean's test pretty well (or good? I never know which to use!). I felt like I was back at Le Peep, eating lunch, and crying with you all over again. I'm SO glad your prayers were answered the way they were!
Goldfish are yummy! I wouldn't have thrown them away! :-)
I am so glad that everything is fine with Sean, but I'm so sorry you had to go through that.
I know how you feel about people dismissing your worries or concerns. They are just trying to help, but it's really not helpful. Thanks for the reminder that we should be willing to really listen to and cry with our friends.
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